36:365 Gratitude Project
Everyday we make decisions, some are small and others big. It is really easy to get caught up in the whole process and begin to second guess yourself and your decisions, especially about the big choices in life. That is why it is so nice to have those small moments of validation, those moments when you know you have made the right decision, for you.
Yesterday I had one of these moments. You see a year ago yesterday I met one of my closest friends, it was about 6 weeks before I was about to embark on my Thailand adventure and we hit it off like a house on fire. When I left last year we had one of the most emotional goodbyes. We drove down PCH crying and talking and It made me think that maybe I was making the wrong decision. You see I moved a lot growing up and as a result tended to not have many close girlfriends because I never wanted to get attached to people I was going to leave. That is why when I met Hayley and we got on so well together it finally felt like I had a reason to stay at home. Now it was not just her, it was all of my new friends whom I had become rather close to 2 months before leaving that made me question whether I was leaving a good thing behind, and this has been a constant point of contemplation over the last year for me.
Did I make a mistake? Did I leave a good thing?
Yesterday I got my validation, however. Now I know that I did make the right decision, and I can be at peace about it.
We all change, life moves forward and we individually pick our paths in life. I know the path I am on it the right path, it may not be the path that everyone else is taking, but it is what I need and want to do. Yesterday I realized how much things have changed, I am not the girl I was a year ago and neither is Hayley or any of my other friends I left behind when I left. This is not a bad thing, but it is a thing and it can’t be ignored.
The truth is I still have work that is not done, I started something a year ago, I set out to travel full-time, to see the world, to create a life that was meaningful and non-conformist, and I am not done. In fact I am no where close to my goal. I thought this last year would be it, that I would go out and be, but I can now see that it was just the prelude to my story, the preparation and foundation of something bigger.
I am young and my dreams are big and I am not ready to admit failure.
So here I stand a year later, my hands and mind more worn and weathered, my soul a little bit stronger and more self-assured. Great things are on the horizon. Today I am grateful for the validation that I am where I should be.