Incandescent Melancholia

Category

Options

Today I am grateful for all of life's options. I know they piss me off most of the time and I don't deal with decisions very well, but I guess when you take a step back and consider the alternative it is something to be truly grateful for.  There are a lot of people in this world who have little to no say over the direction of their life, especially women.  The fact that I do should be a great…

Grappling With the Big Questions

Part of the problem with trying to figure out how to move forward in life is discerning what we value most. If we want our lives to be meaningful and we want our actions and plans to have direction, we must have a firm understanding of these values.   Or at least, I am beginning to think we do. What I don't understand or know is how fluid these values should be. Should they be solid and grounded? Or should…

Documenting Memories

Today I spent some time looking over old photos and videos I made during my time in SE Asia. While I didn't make that many videos, I am really glad that I made the ones I did.  They are such lovely memories and I can have them and share them forever. So today I am thankful for the memories I've documented. I hope to record and document even more memories with amazing people this year.

Awesome Humans Doing Awesome Things

Today I am thankful for my awesome friends who go out there and kick ass. You inspire me and keep me motivated to keep exploring. Just to name a few, I am thankful for Justin who has been living in Dubai for the past year and a half and who always is seeking out adventure and new paths less traveled. Justin was such an inspiration to me when I met him in Hungary studying abroad, and his continual curiosity keeps…

Intentions

Happy New Year everyone! A lot has happened in the last few weeks, it has been the beginning of a lot of changes and self-realizations. I suppose it started a couple weeks ago when I hit rock-bottom emotionally. Since moving home, I have slowly fallen into a depression, similar to those I have experienced in the past. This time, however, I decided I just couldn't keep letting myself feel this way, that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't…

Reassurance in Simplicity

Today I am truly grateful that I had the opportunity to hang out with some really amazing people. New Year's Eve I went to a friend's house party and a bunch of my college friends joined. It was simple and fun. In the morning, we woke up hungover and a mess (at least I was) and we headed out to brunch. We sat around the table devouring our waters and watching this youtube video where they play the opening song to…

Nostalgia, Rejection, and Higher Goals

This is going to sound silly, but I just had a wave of emotion take over as I filled out my credit card details for an ebook on alternative postgraduate funding. I know, silly. The cause was actually putting in my address. Using my Irish card I had to type out my Dublin address -- something I haven't done in two months -- and with it came a flood of emotion.  I miss living in Dublin. I miss walking across…

Life Recently

Life has been really great recently. After the initial existential crisis I had returning home and juggling around with what I want to do next, I have slowly settled back into the life of an academic and am pursuing my  research with more passion and commitment than ever. Today I sent over 9 emails to potential PhD supervisors discussing my research and my possible place within their doctoral programs. I am hoping to apply to King's College London, University College…

Narratives

When we meet someone new there is always that point where the depth of the conversation sinks and we start talking about our lives, experiences, and past loves. We tell the stories about times we have been hurt, but most importantly we tell the stories of times we remember fondly, of people who have left lasting memories, seared into our minds, tasting of summer, and love, and happiness. Moments that will never be replicated because they were too fragile and too…