Mom

May 11, 2014

Today I am especially grateful for…

Seeing as it is mothers day, today I am especially grateful for her.  Not only did she give birth to me, but she has always been there for me.  I remember when my sister and I were little she would alway put so much effort into throwing us the best birthdays and we would always have so much fun playing with our little pet shops with her.  My mom is one of those people that would do anything for someone she cares about.  At times it may lead to her getting a broken heart, but she always has her heart on her sleeve and will do anything to make you happy.

I am so excited to have kids one day because I know that she will be an amazing grandmother.  I feel bad for starting my life over 5000 miles away, and I know that is hard for her, especially because I am the oldest, and I am sure it is hard to see your baby leave and live so far away.  But I just hope she knows that no matter how far away I am I love her and appreciate everything she has done for me.

I know there were some years where it was really hard, and I cannot imagine what it must have been like to be a single parent working a shitty job and living in the middle of Illinois so far away from family and friends. I think it is really easy for kids to be hard on their parents, and I think I have been hard on my mom over the years, but I honestly don’t know what things must have been like.  I am sorry I haven’t been able to empathize as much as I should, and I am sorry for the wasted time being mad or upset.

The truth is I am not mad anymore about things, in fact I am glad that things turned out as they did.  If choices had been made differently we would have never moved to California, I would have never have chosen the path I did and felt the need to travel, and I would probably have done all the amazing things Ive had the opportunity to do.  So while there were some bad times, in the end I have to say thank you to my mom, thank you for everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly because they have made me who I am and I love that person, and I wouldn’t be that person without her.

I think a lot of us don’t want to end up sounding like or mothers, but there are things I hope I inherit from her.  I hope I learn to be compassionate and caring like she is, she always sends cards and remembers birthdays and she goes above and beyond for her boyfriend and his mother.  I hope I learn to give openly and freely like she does, and be a cheerful person to be around.  I hope I am good with children like she is, and I hope I give my kids as much love as she gave us when we were younger.

I hope she knows what an amazing job I think she did with the situations she found her self in, and I hope she knows that even when I am halfway around the world I think about her all the time.  I love you momma, and today I am so thankful for you.

Today I found beauty in…

 

Erica
More about Erica

Erica is a Californian roaming somewhere in the wildness of the world. She is a writer and a researcher, a dirtbag and an explorer. Heart of the Nomad is her creative space to contemplate the complexities of life and share pictures and videos from adventures. Read more to be assaulted by random musings and poor spelling.

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